Insanity
by Masami
Summary: A Valentine's Day story featuring Neon Nostrad. She receives an anonymous Valentine's Day present and swears to find out who her mysterious secret admirer is. Will everything work out, or will this day be a complete disaster? [oneshot]


+ Insanity +

Disclaimer: I can honestly say that I do not own any of these cute little (?) characters. All of them - except for Sakura and Ayame, Neon's two maids whose names I just made up. Plus Margaret and Veronica, the two rich ladies who will pop out of nowhere - belong to Mr Togashi, Shueisha and Nippon Animation.

Note: This is the revised version after Kachiko1-sama's review. Thank you so much for both spending the time to read my fic and fixing all those errors (and giving me suggestions)! glomps Btw - the answer to your question "Nee, someone mentioned English wasn't your first language... What is it?" is no, English was not my first language. It's my third language. Thanks again! waves

As all of you know by now (probably), Valentine's Day is on the fourteenth of February. In the real world, some girls would make or buy chocolate for their boyfriends, or boys that they like. And the boys may give flowers to the girls. Now, forget all these normal things for just a while, while you explore the wonderful day of Valentine's Day in the Hunters' world.

Neon Nostrad stretched her arms sleepily across the softness of her mattress with a yawn as she knocked the alarm clock off of her night table, breaking it into bits and pieces of plastic. Beside where the alarm clock used to stand was a small calendar, with a very visible pink heart drawn on the number fourteen.

It was the day of St. Valentine, and Neon, who didn't have a boyfriend, thought about dragging her bodyguards to the shopping centre with her for the fourteenth time that month. She got out of bed and yawned again, and walked towards her huge closet filled with dresses, blouses, skirts and every other kind of clothing you can imagine. As usual, the fashion expert picked out the dress that suited her mood most, which happened to be a light pink dress that went down to her knees and a matching jacket with red roses. 

After washing her face and getting herself to look perfect as she did everyday, Neon heard one of her maids' footsteps across the hall. She knew that she had come to escort her downstairs for breakfast. "Good morning, Miss Neon," came the voice of one of her maids. She knocked softly on the door, and twisted the handle, hearing clearly the young lady jumping up and down happily in front of her mirror. She opened the door and was amazed at what she saw. 

Neon smiled happily and turned to greet her, adding excitedly "Hey Sakura! Do you like my outfit? I think these are wonderful! They're perfect for Valentine's Day!"

The maid sweatdropped and tried to smile. "Your outfit certainly is beautiful as always," she said finally. "But the problem is - " Before she could finish, Neon dashed out of her room and down the stairs with excitement written all over her face. "...that it's five degrees below zero outside..."

In the dining room, under the shiny chandeliers, was a very long, wooden table. At one end of it sat Right Nostrad, holding the day's newspaper and drinking coffee at the same time. He looked up from the article on Valentine's Day as he heard his daughter's footsteps stamping closer and closer.

"Daddy, daddy!" Neon rushed to her father and clung onto his arm, while he took a sip from his steaming coffee cup. "We're going shopping today!"

Her father was well used to this, but before he could say anything, one of the menservants arrived in the dining room with a bunch of mail in his hand. In his other hand was a heart-shaped box with red ribbon. "That's so pretty!" Neon's eyes went wide as she saw the package. "Who is that for?"

"It's for you, Miss Neon," was the manservant's reply. He handed it to Neon, who tore the package open, leaving the wrapping papers and ribbon on the floor for the poor servants to collect. Inside the package was a huge box of chocolate with all kinds of nuts, and on top of that, a white envelope.

"Ooooh!" Neon screeched, tearing open the envelope this time. "I have a secret admirer! I wonder who sent this."

Right Nostrad did not look so happy about this, but decided to see what the card had to say - and which bastard dared to confess his love to his precious daughter.

"'Roses are red, Violets are blue. I love shopping, And so do you.'" Neon read the card out loud, giving a happy sigh at the end. "Oh, isn't he just SO romantic?"

The maids and servants sweatdropped and forced themselves to nod in agreement with Neon, although they did not see, at all, what was so romantic about that poem, while Neon's father grabbed the card and cried, "Which moron sent this to you!" He looked at the bottom of the card, which read "P.S. In case this falls into the hands of Mr Right Nostrad, I shall not sign my name. We shall meet sometime, Miss Neon."

Neon grabbed it back and smoothened the crumpled edge of the card. "Oh, he is just wonderful! I know, we aren't going to the shopping centre today - we're going to spend the day figuring out who sent it to me!"

"Yes, Miss Neon," replied the two maids who followed her everywhere, and they backed out of the room, allowing the cook to present breakfast to the Nostrads.

"I won't be gone for too long," Neon told her father as she waved and headed for the door. For Neon, 'not too long' meant that it would last the whole day. Or maybe even worse. "Let's go." She walked out the beautiful newly polished front door with its carved wooden doorframe, while the two maids followed.

No bodyguard was in sight, for Mr Nostrad had dismissed all of them when he found that his daughter had lost her power of fortune telling. Fortunately (for the Nostrads), Mr Nostrad had a backup plan of regaining money. His secret plan was to find himself a rich wife - possibly one that can help him regain power and everything else he had lost. There were a number of ladies on his list, and he had a meeting with each of the ladies that day. Of course, all these were unknown to Neon. Mr Nostrad was half glad that Neon did not care the least - at least not yet - what he had in mind. 

Meanwhile, Neon and her two followers were walking through the very crowded first floor of a huge shopping centre. It was packed with people - mostly couples going for movies and shopping on this romantic day.

"Now, let's find out where the wrapping papers, ribbons, chocolate and the card were bought," Neon suggested, putting on a pair of rubber gloves to examine the pink paper that had been dug out of the trashcan. "Eww!" she backed away from the maid who carried the plastic bag, which contained what used to be a nice sheet of wrapping paper. "Smells like rotten apples!" She raised an eyebrow. "Where does he buy these things?"

'That would be because it was taken out of the garbage can,' one of the maids - Ayame - thought. But instead she said "Er... it's Valentine's Day. Almost every store would have those things."

"I know that," Neon pulled off the gloves. "Now, find me all the stores where he might have bought these from. This is the biggest concentration of shops - I'm sure he bought it from one of these stores."

The maids obeyed - Sakura had gone to look for the stores, while Ayame accompanied Neon while she kept herself busy by buying everything ---- bag after bag of dresses, shirts, skirts and accessories. 

"Miss Neon," the maid was back after approximately two hours. "Here is a list of all stores in this shopping centre that had that wrapping paper in stock." She reached out her hand, which held a long list - almost as long as a kid's Christmas wish list - filled with names of stores.

"Ok. Now we'll need to narrow it down." Neon examined the long list. "You go find which stores sell these red ribbons," she pointed at the maid who had been shopping with her. "And you," she turned to Sakura. "You can take a break." The maid sighed in relief, but almost collapsed as she heard the rest of the sentence; "by going to the stores on the second floor with me."

"Yes, Miss Neon..." And they were off.

Mr Nostrad sat alone in a coffee house in the food corner of the shopping mall. He rolled his eyes, and turned his head, waiting for the lady who was supposed to have gotten there at least an hour ago. Impatiently, he started knocking the table with his index finger, raising his eyebrow occasionally and sighing. He did not seem to notice how much attention he was drawing to the dimly lit coffee house.

"Where IS she!" He meant to say it to himself, but by the sound of it, the whole coffee house had heard him. They turned surprisingly but turned back when Mr Nostrad looked at them. Just as he was about to order another cup of coffee, a voice from behind him made him turn.

"Right Nostrad?" A young woman in fur garment stood - the strong odour of perfume surrounding her.

"Oh, hello, Margaret," Mr Nostrad greeted her with a face less serious than usual. "How are you?"

"How am I!" the woman roared. "You were supposed to pick me up about an hour ago, and you actually wanted me to come to this - this crowded and messy place!" Her hands were on her hips, showing that she was mad. Completely. "I had to wear this coat, the inexpensive one." - she pointed at her fur coat, which was probably nothing to a rich lady like her - "So that I won't ruin it in this filthy place."

Mr Nostrad forced a smile and stood up. "Well... I can see that you don't like this place. Let's go to a fancy restaurant." He reached his hand in the air, but before the waitress could come, the young woman pushed him back into the seat.

"We're not done yet."

"What is it then? Make it quick. You do want to get away from this place?"

"Well, that can wait. My question first - who on Earth is Margaret!"

You could see the blood draining from Mr Nostrad's head. He went white as a ghost and wore a confused expression, as he pointed at the lady and tried to think. But the answer came only too soon.

"I'M Margaret!"

The two turned, and there she was, a stylish lady in dark purple dress. She fixed her locks on her forehead and demanded, "And who are you, girl!"

"I'm Veronica, and I have a date with this gentleman right here!" 

The two young ladies were now face to face, trying to figure out what was going on. They argued loudly who was supposed to be with Right Nostrad, but how little did they expect three more young ladies to join them soon in the disagreement.

"He has a date with ME!"

"No, he was supposed to meet ME at one!"

"Well he said he'd pick me up at one-thirty!"

The ladies all raised their eyebrows and turned to Mr Nostrad, fury written all over their faces. "Right, explain to us!"

"I..."

"I'm SO tired! Let's go take a break and have some food," Neon suggested. The maids' "Thank goodness" was unheard by her, as they were buried under the huge pile of shopping bags and couldn't walk fast enough to catch up to their mistress. "I want a fruit punch. A freshly made one."

As Neon cheerfully headed for the food corner, the maids dragged bags after bags of everything a rich girl would want. (Like there's a limit to that...) And of course, she did not notice, at all, that her father was in the coffee house.

"Miss Neon," said Ayame, noticing something suddenly.

"What, you want something to drink too?"

"That'd be great... but," she sweatdropped and pointed at the coffee house window - causing some of the heavier bags to fall. "Isn't that your father - Mr Nostrad?"

Neon blinked, but was unable to detect anything. "Where?"

"There," Sakura finally caught a breath of air. "Under that round table."

"Are you guys sure?" Neon frowned. "That doesn't look like Daddy to me. Besides, what could he be doing here?" Her attention turned to the Shoppe beside the coffee house. "Ooooh! Let's go see! I love those shiny crystals there on display! They're so pretty!"

As Neon bounced up and down in the store, picking out the accessories that she liked - which could also be translated to the whole store - the two maids waited outside, waiting to pay for all the things with Mr Nostrad's credit card.

"That man really does look like Mr Nostrad," Sakura whispered to the other.

"But the swelling left eyelid and twisted arm doesn't - "

"Oh my gosh!" the maids finally realized what they were seeing. They turned to each other, then to Mr Nostrad. They dashed into the coffee house and to his side. "Mr Nostrad, sir, what happened! Are you all right!"

Neon, who realized that her maids were gone, followed. The horrible shock came when she saw her father lying on the floor under the coffee table. His whole body was bruised and looked horrible - like a soldier who had just been part of a terrifying war. "Oh, Daddy! Who did this to you!"

Mr Nostrad slowly opened his right eye and whispered weakly, "You have no idea how strong five angry women can be..." Then his eye went closed. He hadn't any energy left in him. The next stop for him was the hospital. While the victim's family was supposed to ride along with him on the ambulance, the maids were too busy carrying all the bags back to the mansion. Even when the ambulance started towards the hospital, Neon was shouting "Put all the bags in my room! And hang my new silk dress in my closet... You'll pay if you ruin my new shirt! It's limited-edition..."

Evening was just approaching, but the business of "finding out who Neon's secret admirer was" had to wait, for Mr Nostrad had just arrived home from the hospital. He was covered in bandages and unable to move on his own. Neon looked more concerned with her own business than that of her father's, however.

"What do you think Daddy meant by 'You have no idea how strong five angry women can be'?" Neon asked her maids as they played a game of poker in Neon's room. "Could it be that he got beat up by five women? But why? Why would they want to hurt him?" The answer to that was brutal indeed. And no one except for Mr Nostrad, the five ladies, and a whole crowd who happened to pass the coffee house at that time knew it. It was a 'complete "mystery"'.

"I have no idea," replied Ayame. "Oh, what's that paper there?" She pointed at a long list, which happened to be a list of all possible places that the red ribbon might have been bought.

"Oh my gosh! I totally forgot about that!" Neon jumped up suddenly, and the cards flew in the air. "Let's go continue on our search!" Grabbing her jacket and the list, she raced down the stairs and to the door. "Come on!"

"You IDIOT." Sakura whispered and glared at Ayame, who smiled innocently and followed Neon out of the door.

"Leorio, I'm saying this for the one last time," Kurapica sighed. "This is not a good idea."

"Oh, leave me alone. What do YOU know about ladies?" Leorio laughed as he fixed his hair with a comb and smiled at his reflection in the mirror. "What a perfect gentleman." There was a very noticeable twinkle in his eye.

Kurapica sighed again. "Suit yourself then," he headed out of the bathroom and out of sight. "But don't tell me I didn't warn you."

"Oh, Leorio, you look amazing!" Leorio smiled again, revealing the teeth that he had just brushed. "Heh, a gentleman like me should always have a date on Valentine's Day. Glad I got Kurapica to tell me about at least one girl he knows. She must be really nice. Oh, boy, a pretty, nice girl who likes shopping. I'm a Hunter now - and that means I won't have problems financially. I'm sure the date would go great!"

"If you can find her."

"Huh?" Leorio turned, and found Killua standing by the door.

"Leorio, you don't even know where she is, do you?" Killua grinned. "And plus, who'd like an Ojisan like you?"

"I'm not an Ojisan!" Leorio beamed at Killua. "And since she likes shopping, she'd be hanging out at the shopping centre now. Oh, look what you made me do! My tie is messed up now..." He turned to fix his tie, and Killua walked away giggling. "I'm all ready! Guys, I won't be home early tonight - I sense a romantic dinner for two."

Killua laughed out loud as Leorio left with a huge bouquet of roses in one hand, a box of cookies in the other - wrapped in the same pink wrapping paper and tied with the red ribbon. Kurapica rolled his eyes and wondered whether or not Leorio could really keep up with Neon. Gon remained clueless, until Killua fed him all the details - plus his plan to follow Leorio.

"I suppose it'd be better if you two were there." Kurapica thought for a moment. "You can drag him back when Neon drives him crazy. We still need him to move the new fridge we bought."

Gon sweatdropped. Not "if Neon drives him crazy", but "when"... he sounded only too sure that the lady would drive Leorio crazy.

"There are still too many people," Neon complained. "At this rate we'd never be able to figure out which guy sent me the present!"

"Er... Miss Neon, even if we figure out which store he bought the papers from, will we be able to find where he lives?" Sakura asked carefully. She was sure that she had burst Neon's bubble when she saw Neon glaring. So she added quickly, "O-or, maybe we will. Who knows?"

Ayame looked around the shopping centre. Some couples were walking out of the movie theatre, and others were window-shopping. But there was one certain person who had caught her attention: A middle-aged man in a black suit. He had on a pair of sunglasses and held a bouquet and a present in his hands...

"Miss Neon!" she called out suddenly. "Isn't that wrapping...?"

Neon's eyes went wide. "Oh, my gosh, it is!"

"It might be just a coincidence," Sakura whispered to the other maid. "What if it's not him?"

"Let nature take its course," Ayame whispered back. "If it's not then we'll have to endure another one of Miss Neon's shopping sprees and drag all the bags when we go home."

"...how unconcerned are you! You know how long each one of those shopping sprees lasts!"

Neon approached the man carefully and examined the wrapping paper and ribbon from a distance. It was a perfect match, all right. "Hey," she called out to the man. "Who are those for?" Of course, spoiled brats weren't supposed to know what the word 'manner' meant. 

"These? These are for my date," Leorio replied. "I don't know where she is though. But she should be here somewhere, since she loves shopping."

"Hey, I love shopping too!" Neon smiled happily. "And I've got a secret admirer who loves shopping too!"

Leorio blinked as he remembered his card. The lines 'I love shopping, and so do you' appeared clearly in his mind. "Hey... are you... do you happen to be... Neon Nostrad?"

It was Neon who blinked this time. "Y-you know me? But you... Are you the one who sent me that package? You have the exact same wrapping paper and ribbons."

"Yeah," Leorio let out a laugh. "I'm Leorio. I might look old, as my friends often remind me, but I'm still in my late teens, so don't worry about my age. Well, what a miracle to have found you in this crowd of people. LLady, how would you like to spend the rest of Valentine's Day with me?"

Neon's eyes sparkled. "Will you go shopping with me?" Leorio nodded. "Oh, I'd love to - "

"NOOOO!" A scream came from down the hall of the great shopping centre. A man wrapped in bandages came running - or, not. He was crawling, to be exact, and was there to protect his precious daughter from her awful secret admirer. He had everyone's attention, of course, and people made way for the man as he crawled, looking totally exhausted.

"Huh?" Leorio made a face, but his expression turned into pure terror as the man came even closer. "EEEEK! A MUMMY!" He threw the bouquet and present in the air, which was caught by Neon just before they fell onto the ground, and ran away at full speed - the speed that would win him any Olympic gold medal in running if he were to participate.

"Oh, Daddy, are you any better now?" Neon rushed to her father.

"Yes. Who was that man, Neon?" Mr Nostrad asked impatiently.

"I just met him right here in the shopping centre," Neon replied as Sakura and Ayame helped Mr Nostrad to a bench nearby. "It turned out that he was the one who sent me the present."

"That middle-aged man!" Mr Nostrad bawled. "Well, you see what a coward he is now. He ran away just as he saw me. Scared of the father of the lady he admires... that guy won't get too far."

"I guess so, Daddy..." Neon frowned. "He ran away yelling something about his 'mommy'..."

Mr Nostrad laughed. "Now, let's get home, Neon, all your clothes and jewelleries are waiting for you."

"Okay, Daddy."

"KURAPICA!"

As the horrible scream echoed, Kurapica rushed to the door - to the source of the scream - right away. "Leorio! Gon! Killua! What happened?" Studying Leorio's expression, he could tell that nothing good had happened during this short 'date'.

"Poor Leorio," Gon sighed, dragging Leorio inside by his right arm. "I think he's homesick. He's been murmuring something about his 'mommy' the whole trip back here."

"Yeah," Killua chuckled. "It didn't go too well, and Leorio got really scared when he saw Neon's Dad. He didn't look that scary, if you ask me. But for a weakling like Leorio, maybe it was normal to run away screaming for his 'mommy'." He continued to laugh as he dragged Leorio by his left arm, and released him once they reached the sofa, where Leorio could lie down in peace.

"Let's eat now," Kurapica suggested. "I made cream stew."

"Sounds good!"

"I'll get the plates!"

Leorio lay on the sofa in silence. Every thought of the 'mummy' frightened him. "Relax," he told himself. "Halloween isn't here yet."

Well, that was the story of one particular Valentine's Day in the Hunters' world. It could have been worse, I guess... But no harm done, ne? (Except for Mr Nostrad getting beat up ;) Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Hope your Valentine's Day will be better than the Hunters'!

+ The End +

Whee! Long time no write () This is my first short one-shot story (not multi-chaptered), and personally I think I could have done better if I had more time. And please - if you ever spot any grammatical error - anything at all, please let me know so that I can change it and make the story better. Your help is deeply appreciated; aka don't send me notes like "You suck" and "I liked it". Thank you to everyone who managed to get to the very end, and also thanks to people who gave up halfway through the story - I know it was kinda confusing (.) It's still far from Valentine's Day, but better early than late, ne? Happy (early) Valentine's Day everyone! glomps Sammi sends her love! (LOL)

+ Sammi +


End file.
